Just some thoughts..Lonely tonight.

Well, as you can tell from earlier posts I am writing poetry again. Right now though, I'm sitting here..just music in my ears..I'm lonely tonight. Don't get me wrong..I have gotten used to the fact i'm single..i've even embraced it. Sometimes though, it gets the best of me. There are so many things i miss about being in love with someone. The butterflies you get in your stomach..they way your heart beats so fast you can't breathe. The hugs, kisses, and cuddles. I wonder sometimes if i'll ever find that love again. I had it once..the most passionate love i've ever known..and somewhere along the way i lost it. I guess it wasn't in God's plan for me.
I want so much to find someone special, someone i can call my best friend..someone i can share the rest of my life with. Will it ever come?? They say good things come to those who wait, but the waiting part is the hardest. Endless nights of the same old routine. I want someone to come along and totally take my heart...i want to feel that passion again. Maybe, it will come. As you can tell from my poetry..i'm mostly writing about unrequited love. Why..do you ask? Well, you see I fell in love with someone not so long ago. I thought at first that it was just a stupid little crush...I thought I was just being silly. I've realized though..those feelings i had haven't went away. I would say that's more than just a crush. I still see him from time to time...and he still captures me everytime. Just seeing him smile..melts me inside. I had the chance to tell him..and I never did. That I regret..but I knew not telling him would be the best thing.
Oh well, thats over and done now, yes, i still care for this man very deeply, but i knew i had to let go. I will not sit here and cry for someone that i can never be with..that would just be a waste of my time. So, i will continue to pray...continue to hope and have faith that love will prevail. The greatest of all happiness..is to love..and be loved. Well..goodnight!

If Only-Poem By: Shanna Behmke

If Only....

As I sit here thinking of you a tear runs down my cheek.

My heart is beating so fast...I feel I can't breathe.

This secret I hold inside of my soul is getting harder and harder to control.

I want so much to tell you how I feel.. but when I'm around you I cannot speak.

I look away from you...when you look at me, too afraid to let you see..this love that's grown inside of me. I guess it's just a silly lovers' dream.

I've always been a passionate soul..my heart has trouble letting go.

When I found out that you loved another...my heart broke in two..I wonder now...

If only I had told you...

would have you loved me too?

A Poem For Jon Knight.

I HAD A DREAM

I had a dream about you last night...

You were here with me..and it felt so right.

I can't tell you how that made me feel.

All I know now..is that my love for you is real.

I held you in my arms..erased all your fears.

Kissed your face so softly..and wiped away your tears.

I surrendered all to you...making more love than I've ever before.

The tears running down your cheeks..only made me want you more.

I can't help this feeling I have inside..you came to me..when I thought my soul had died.

Opened up your heart to me...promised forever together we will be.

What a glorious dream! I had to wake up...when the sunlight kissed my face..but the memory of that moment will never be erased.

Now, I know every night..when I lay my head down to sleep..I can dream of you..this love I shall keep. If ever I see you for real..I promise to tell you exactly how I feel.

My darling prince..my knight in shining armor..I loved you last night...and will

forever more.

You'll Never Know

I saw you today...your eyes..your smile still take my breath away.

My heart beat faster...when you said hello..don't know why...I just can't let go.

Why do I think of you? Why do I cry?

Why did I never tell you...I just wanted you for mine.

I lost that chance..that time is gone...and now here I sit..all alone.

I think of all the thingsI should have done..

I should have told you..you were the one...

I could have held you in my arms..and never let go..I should have told you that I love you..

now you'll never know.

I would tell you how much you're smile brightens my darkest days...

I would tell you how your voice touches my heart..in so many ways.

I would tell you how you saved my dying soul..and how you have my heart...

now you'll never know.

Sometimes..when you look straight at me...I wonder if you feel that way for me.

I felt something between us..that very first day..I think you felt it too.

The way you put your arms around me...that's when I knew.

As much as I wanted you to love me...I knew this love could never be.

So, for now I'll write these words...I'll pray this too...My darling angel..I love you.

Maybe..someday...you'll know.

An Angel...

I wrote this poem on 4-20-09 I've pasted it from myspace.com.


I fell in love...on a september day. In one sweet moment..I gave my heart away. His smile...his eyes...bright as the heavens....an angel all in white. As time passed on...more of him I got to know....causing these feelings in my heart to grow and grow. I tried to play it cool...tried to pretend I did'nt feel...but I could'nt hide it from myself....my heart knows it was real. I kept it to myself for such a long time...cried alot of tears...wishing he could be mine. Sometimes, he looked at me....I was afraid he would see...that I loved him. Untill on day, I finally realized....that he was looking into someone else's eyes....so I had to let go. I will never tell him...he will never know. As much as it hurt...I had to thank God...he gave me this angel...this man to let me know...that I can...and will love again. So now...I stand back..still watching his smile...hearing his laugh...and praying for this angel...who came so swiftly into my life.

My Obsessions..First Blog on Blogspot.com

Well..my first blog on blogspot.com! Today I was sitting here at the computer listening to music..singing along..swaying in my chair like a total dork! Music is one my biggest obsessions, I can get lost in it sometimes..off to a whole other world..a whole other life! I've had people ask me why i never pursued my dream of being a singer..I often wonder that myself. No, I sure don't claim to have the best voice in the world..no Whitney, Alicia, or Mariah, but I know God gave me a gift. I've been singing since I was little..no more than 2 or 3. Whenever I'm down..and sad all I have to do is turn on the radio..pop in a cd or turn on my computer..and my mind drifts off to another world..a world where I'm not stressed..or hurt. It's an AWESOME feeling! People laugh and make fun of me because I do randomly burst out into song at work..or wherever I am at the time..but I can't help it..that's just part of who I am! Staying on this subject..my latest obsession has become the renion of NKOTB. As goofy as it may sound..I am amazed by them! They've grown older..have families..kids..but they still know how to melt a heart! I recently listened to some old NKOTB music..and I wondered..WTF? Why did I ever like this stuff?? The same reason why I like them so much today. I can RELATE to them. Back then..all that bubble gum pop lyrics..like "step by step".."hangin tough"..ect a young kid my age could relate to that. Now, they are singing about being in the club..drinking and keeping the "single" ladies happy. As a single lady..i appreciate that! It is my intention to see them whenever they decide to ever come close enough to me!! Anyways, I know people are sick and tired of hearing about Michael Jackson...but I have an opinion on this....let the man rest..damn..it's between him and God now. I've admired him and his music all of my life...and I will never forget the legacy of heartfelt lyrics, and soothing melodies he left us! RIP MJ Well..these are just a few my favourite things..I'll also be posting some poetry on here..I love doing that as well!!