My first blog!

Dear Donnie

2009-10-04T16:16:00.000-07:00

Well D, this is my first poem for you. I can't express how much you and the guys mean to me. Since finding the "lab" I've made so many new friends, who I love very much. I have not gotten the chance to see you guys live yet, but I will next tour. I'm a single momma, so I know you can understand its hard for me to travel too far, or spend too much. But, that doesnt mean I dont love you all very much. I was a BH in the begining and I never stopped and never will!

I never stopped believing..I never did forget..I always carried you in my heart..never one regret.

You came back to me with click times three..and gave your love so graciously.

The twugs and twisses....for 5 brothers and a million sisters.

Thank you just doesnt seem to be..the right words to say..how much you mean to me.

From marshmallow dreams...to baby daddys bus..and those damn tumblweeds ..we stand beside you...because we love you...we are yours faithfully.

Even grown..we still long to be..that "cover girl" to whom you sing.

"I'll be loving you forever" those words still comfort me.

You never really left us...You were always there.

In our hearts and minds..always in our prayers.

Stay strong sweet Donnie..I love you..and know that I'll forever be loving you.

BY: Shanna Marie Behmke

AKA ShannaSings4Jon on TWITTER

FOR JON-A POEM

2009-10-04T15:05:00.000-07:00

Well, here is another mushy one from me..the o'l romantic blockhead HA! Its a good thing though, I love to write..and its good therapy for me to vent my feelings. I cant tell you all how much NKOTB really means to me. They've changed my life and for that I feel very blessed. I love Jon alot, and I admire and respect him so much. Maybe, one day..with faith..hope..and love..he'll see me. Even if he doesn't..its enough for me to know that I can tell him each and every day what he means to me.

FOR JON

I sit here waiting so patiently... for love to come to me.

I sing my songs, I dream my life away because its in your arms..where I belong.

In your eyes I see something more...I see someone pure.

In your smile I see..everything I've ever wanted to be.

You are a gentle and caring soul..there is so much more that you never show.

I can see it in your eyes..the man inside you try to disquise.

I know you'll never know me...You will never feel this for me.

This is my chance to tell you how much you mean to me...Even if you never see..I'm happy to send you my love...every day...every night...just a twiss and a twug.

If I ever get one moment with you..all I would be able to say..is that I love you.

This love is different from any other I've known..This love is true.

So, for now I'll wait until the day comes.. when I can hold this Angel in my arms.

Peacefully, I will dream of you every night...I will hold on tight..to you in my dreams..I wish all the love and happiness for you that life can bring.

BY: Shanna Marie Behmke

ShannaSings4Jon on TWITTER

When I Find Love Again

2009-09-03T18:51:00.000-07:00

Well, i was in the mood to write again..just another poem from a hopeless romantic!!!

When I find love again

When I find love again, this is what I'll do.

Never go a day or night without saying "I love you".

I'll give you my heart with any fears, and when you cry, I'll kiss away your tears.

I'll hold you in my arms, and always let you know, that I am here with you, and I will never go.

I'll be the best friend that you've ever had, I'll try my best to listen, even when you're mad.

I'll give you my soul, and lend you my ear, you can tell me anything without any fear.

I'll commit to you, and love not another, I'll protect your heart, you will not suffer.

I'll sing you to sleep when you need me to, give you dreams that are sweet the whole night through.

When I find love again these things I do swear..for life is more beautiful when you know someone cares.

To love and be loved..to hug and be hugged.

To kiss and be kissed...to miss and be missed.

To hold and be held...to feel and be felt.

These are the most precious of things..loving someone and the joy that it brings.

When I find love again...I promise this.

I will know that it's real with true loves first kiss.

For Norma

2009-09-01T18:39:00.000-07:00

I found out some very sad news today...a very dear friend and co-worker of mine..is losing her battle with cancer. She has but days left. This is the most awesome woman a person could ever know. My heart broke into pieces when I heard this. Here is a little peom I wrote in honor of her. I love you Norma..I'm gonna miss your laughter and your smile.

On The Angels Wing

If ever an angel walked this earth..it was you.

If ever a heart could be so big..it was you.

If ever a smile can brighten the darkest day..it was you.

I will always hear your laughter, and see your smile in my heart.

Though you must go...we shall never really part.

God is calling you home now...in his arms...safe you will be.

No more sickness..no more pain...only happiness and peace.

Fly now my friend..upon the angels wing.

Though we are sad...hallelughia we will sing.

Your love you will see..when the light shines upon your face.

Go gladly my friend, and know that your memory can never be erased.

I know that when God takes you home...the heavens will rejoice.

So for you tonight..I will dry up my tears...and lift up my voice.

I will think of you everytime I sing...knowing that you will fly on the angels wing.

Just some thoughts..Lonely tonight.

2009-08-29T19:46:00.000-07:00

Well, as you can tell from earlier posts I am writing poetry again. Right now though, I'm sitting here..just music in my ears..I'm lonely tonight. Don't get me wrong..I have gotten used to the fact i'm single..i've even embraced it. Sometimes though, it gets the best of me. There are so many things i miss about being in love with someone. The butterflies you get in your stomach..they way your heart beats so fast you can't breathe. The hugs, kisses, and cuddles. I wonder sometimes if i'll ever find that love again. I had it once..the most passionate love i've ever known..and somewhere along the way i lost it. I guess it wasn't in God's plan for me.
I want so much to find someone special, someone i can call my best friend..someone i can share the rest of my life with. Will it ever come?? They say good things come to those who wait, but the waiting part is the hardest. Endless nights of the same old routine. I want someone to come along and totally take my heart...i want to feel that passion again. Maybe, it will come. As you can tell from my poetry..i'm mostly writing about unrequited love. Why..do you ask? Well, you see I fell in love with someone not so long ago. I thought at first that it was just a stupid little crush...I thought I was just being silly. I've realized though..those feelings i had haven't went away. I would say that's more than just a crush. I still see him from time to time...and he still captures me everytime. Just seeing him smile..melts me inside. I had the chance to tell him..and I never did. That I regret..but I knew not telling him would be the best thing.
Oh well, thats over and done now, yes, i still care for this man very deeply, but i knew i had to let go. I will not sit here and cry for someone that i can never be with..that would just be a waste of my time. So, i will continue to pray...continue to hope and have faith that love will prevail. The greatest of all happiness..is to love..and be loved. Well..goodnight!

If Only-Poem By: Shanna Behmke

2009-08-29T19:18:00.000-07:00

If Only....

As I sit here thinking of you a tear runs down my cheek.

My heart is beating so fast...I feel I can't breathe.

This secret I hold inside of my soul is getting harder and harder to control.

I want so much to tell you how I feel.. but when I'm around you I cannot speak.

I look away from you...when you look at me, too afraid to let you see..this love that's grown inside of me. I guess it's just a silly lovers' dream.

I've always been a passionate soul..my heart has trouble letting go.

When I found out that you loved another...my heart broke in two..I wonder now...

If only I had told you...

would have you loved me too?

A Poem For Jon Knight.

2009-08-25T18:41:00.000-07:00

I HAD A DREAM

I had a dream about you last night...

You were here with me..and it felt so right.

I can't tell you how that made me feel.

All I know now..is that my love for you is real.

I held you in my arms..erased all your fears.

Kissed your face so softly..and wiped away your tears.

I surrendered all to you...making more love than I've ever before.

The tears running down your cheeks..only made me want you more.

I can't help this feeling I have inside..you came to me..when I thought my soul had died.

Opened up your heart to me...promised forever together we will be.

What a glorious dream! I had to wake up...when the sunlight kissed my face..but the memory of that moment will never be erased.

Now, I know every night..when I lay my head down to sleep..I can dream of you..this love I shall keep. If ever I see you for real..I promise to tell you exactly how I feel.

My darling prince..my knight in shining armor..I loved you last night...and will

forever more.

You'll Never Know

2009-08-24T18:11:00.001-07:00

I saw you today...your eyes..your smile still take my breath away.

My heart beat faster...when you said hello..don't know why...I just can't let go.

Why do I think of you? Why do I cry?

Why did I never tell you...I just wanted you for mine.

I lost that chance..that time is gone...and now here I sit..all alone.

I think of all the thingsI should have done..

I should have told you..you were the one...

I could have held you in my arms..and never let go..I should have told you that I love you..

now you'll never know.

I would tell you how much you're smile brightens my darkest days...

I would tell you how your voice touches my heart..in so many ways.

I would tell you how you saved my dying soul..and how you have my heart...

now you'll never know.

Sometimes..when you look straight at me...I wonder if you feel that way for me.

I felt something between us..that very first day..I think you felt it too.

The way you put your arms around me...that's when I knew.

As much as I wanted you to love me...I knew this love could never be.

So, for now I'll write these words...I'll pray this too...My darling angel..I love you.

Maybe..someday...you'll know.

An Angel...

2009-08-20T19:38:00.000-07:00

I wrote this poem on 4-20-09 I've pasted it from myspace.com.

I fell in love...on a september day. In one sweet moment..I gave my heart away. His smile...his eyes...bright as the heavens....an angel all in white. As time passed on...more of him I got to know....causing these feelings in my heart to grow and grow. I tried to play it cool...tried to pretend I did'nt feel...but I could'nt hide it from myself....my heart knows it was real. I kept it to myself for such a long time...cried alot of tears...wishing he could be mine. Sometimes, he looked at me....I was afraid he would see...that I loved him. Untill on day, I finally realized....that he was looking into someone else's eyes....so I had to let go. I will never tell him...he will never know. As much as it hurt...I had to thank God...he gave me this angel...this man to let me know...that I can...and will love again. So now...I stand back..still watching his smile...hearing his laugh...and praying for this angel...who came so swiftly into my life.

My Obsessions..First Blog on Blogspot.com

2009-08-20T18:56:00.000-07:00

Well..my first blog on blogspot.com! Today I was sitting here at the computer listening to music..singing along..swaying in my chair like a total dork! Music is one my biggest obsessions, I can get lost in it sometimes..off to a whole other world..a whole other life! I've had people ask me why i never pursued my dream of being a singer..I often wonder that myself. No, I sure don't claim to have the best voice in the world..no Whitney, Alicia, or Mariah, but I know God gave me a gift. I've been singing since I was little..no more than 2 or 3. Whenever I'm down..and sad all I have to do is turn on the radio..pop in a cd or turn on my computer..and my mind drifts off to another world..a world where I'm not stressed..or hurt. It's an AWESOME feeling! People laugh and make fun of me because I do randomly burst out into song at work..or wherever I am at the time..but I can't help it..that's just part of who I am! Staying on this subject..my latest obsession has become the renion of NKOTB. As goofy as it may sound..I am amazed by them! They've grown older..have families..kids..but they still know how to melt a heart! I recently listened to some old NKOTB music..and I wondered..WTF? Why did I ever like this stuff?? The same reason why I like them so much today. I can RELATE to them. Back then..all that bubble gum pop lyrics..like "step by step".."hangin tough"..ect a young kid my age could relate to that. Now, they are singing about being in the club..drinking and keeping the "single" ladies happy. As a single lady..i appreciate that! It is my intention to see them whenever they decide to ever come close enough to me!! Anyways, I know people are sick and tired of hearing about Michael Jackson...but I have an opinion on this....let the man rest..damn..it's between him and God now. I've admired him and his music all of my life...and I will never forget the legacy of heartfelt lyrics, and soothing melodies he left us! RIP MJ Well..these are just a few my favourite things..I'll also be posting some poetry on here..I love doing that as well!!